If you love the animated spy series “Archer,” then I don’t have to tell you the show’s eighth season premieres tonight. You’re already as excited for this television event as Sterling Archer is about ocelots.
If you don’t watch “Archer,” it’s time to reexamine your life, then go watch the 85 brilliant episodes of the show that already exist. I’ll wait.
*taps fingers for 31 consecutive hours while you marathon-binge the series*
See, amazing right?
Now that we’re all on board: What to drink for tonight’s Season 8 premiere?
“Archer” isn’t associated with a specific cocktail so much as it is with the concept of drinking liberally and continuously. So choose one of the options below. Or be like Archer and choose more than one.
Melon Balls
Archer: How am I still alive? Eight gills of blood is way more than I thought.
Malory: That’s why you’re so woozy.
Archer: Yeah, that, plus all those melon balls. I had about nine of them.
Malory: Why the hell were you drinking?
Archer: Uh, hello? It’s a party!
Bloody Mary’s
Archer: Bloody Mary, full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now and at the hour of my death… which I hope is soon. Amen.
Margaritas
Archer: Five ingredients! Tequila, Cointreau, lime juice, ice, kosher salt.
(Archer-approved) Margarita Recipe
Hurricanes
Archer: Relax, it’s okay, we’re Sterling Archer and Lana Kane, an we’re on a mission to stop an eco-terrorist from blowing up a gas pipeline. So for the love of God, woman, go make me a fresh batch of hurricanes!
Pretty Much Anything
Archer: I’m scared if I stop drinking all at once, the cumulative hangover will literally kill me.
Check out this great list of the many, many other cocktails consumed on “Archer.”
See you in the Danger Zone, everybody.