Celebrities, they’re just like us. They take tequila shots then wake up the next morning with a pounding headache and their hand still in a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos.
But in another way, they’re not like us at all: They’re rich enough to start their own tequila brand for fun and profit.
So which celebrity tequila brand is the coolest? Let’s go to the tape.
The Tequila: Sauza 901
The Celebrity: Justin Timberlake
Money Quote About Celebrity’s Passion for Tequila: “I have spent the last several years creating a premium brand that captures the passion I have for tequila.”
What the Name Means: 901 is the area code for Memphis, where JT’s from. Memphis is not known for its tequila.
Impartial Review: “901 doesn’t suck. It’s good int he way that most 100% agave tequila is good. There’s little heat to it, so you know you’re drinking booze, but there are hints of citrus and pine and that prickly note you get from pure agave.”
The Tequila: Casamigos
The Celebrity: George Clooney
Money Quote About Celebrity’s Passion for Tequila: “As you do when you’re in Mexico, you drink a lot of tequila. After a couple of months trying a lot of different tequilas, George turned to me and said, ‘Why don’t we just make our own? One that’s perfect for us to drink?'”
What the Name Means: Spanish for the “house of friends,” roughly. Because Clooney and his friends started the company. Aww.
Impartial Review: “Dangerously drinkable, Casamigos Anejo Tequila is very much a gateway tequila, a perfect spot for folks who may never have considered sipping their tequila straight to start.”
The Tequila: DeLeón
The Celebrity: Sean “Diddy” Combs
Money Quote About Celebrity’s Passion for Tequila: “I see the uptick naturally while I’m out there, with the female audience being into tequila. I want to touch everybody with some smoothness, so that when you drink tequila, you don’t make that ugly face.”
What the Name Means: Of the lion, if I remember high school Spanish.
Impartial Review: “Celebrity branding aside, it’s a pretty good tequila. It’s very mild, and extremely easy-drinking — the same qualities that make Patron so very popular.”
The Tequila: Santo Mezquila
The Celebrity: Adam Levine and Sammy Hagar
Money Quote About Celebrity’s Passion for Tequila: While drinking together in Cabo San Lucas, Levine and Hagar mixed tequila and mezcal together and liked it. “When we came up with that name — mezquila — the whole road opened up,” Hagar said. “We know what we’re going to do. It’s the first mezquila. We’ve invented a new product.”
What the Name Means: Holy.
Impartial Review by a Random Dude on Twitter: “Finally found @santomezquila! It’s incredibly smooth & might be smoother than Tequila. @sammyhagar & @adamlevine knocked it outta the park!”
Verdict: We’re going with Clooney’s Casamigos as the coolest celeb tequila. How about you?