We’re not the type of people who need a reason to drink. If we’re breathing that’s reason enough. But for those who need more, here you go:
1. Lemonade: The queen released her visual album last weekend and you’ve likely spent this whole week trying to decipher it. The only way to fully understand the wisdom of Queen Bey is to hit the dance floor with a drink in your hand.
2. NFL Draft: The draft began on Thursday and will continue on into the weekend. Night one offered surprises and a crop top. Night two promises to deliver even more excitement. Take a drink for every time Mel Kiper’s mock draft is wrong.
3. Blink 182: Not to be upstaged by Beyoncé, our favorite teen angst idols released a new song this week. They also announced their US tour, which is a nothing short of a blessing to us all (even if the seriousness of us asking “What’s My Age Again?” has increased significantly since last we met).
4. Keanu: Sketch gods, Key and Peele, hit the big screen this weekend with an adorable cat and more than zero fire. Grab your buddies A-A-Ron and Hingle McCringleberry for a night well spent.
5. Shia LaBeouf: A man was sucker punched this week just because he looked like the slightly unhinged celebrity. Shia sent the victim a kind apologetic voicemail and brunette men everywhere shaved their scraggly beards. We’re all winners.