So if we’re going to have a Man-Cave section, it needs to have a Scotch article. You can order vodka/cranberry in college, but eventually, you’ll need to learn to drink like a man. Just sayin’
Scotch is an acquired taste. Which means you’ll most likely hate it the first time you drink it. And the second. But we bet you felt that way about beer back in the day, too. You’ll get over it.
Now, we’re no experts, but we know what we like and what things cost. So let’s make our 3 recommendations from there:
1. Dewar’s White Label: This is a blended whiskey. So like the name implies, there’s a blend of different malts. Some are smoother, some a bit harsh, so the taste is somewhere in the middle. This is the Scotch you buy to drink at home, unless you have a trust fund… in which case, skip this one. For any blend, you can drink it on the rocks, with water, or in the summer, with soda. There are a million other mixers, but don’t bring them into our Man Cave.
2. Johnnie Walker Black: Another blend. It costs a bit more than Dewar’s, so we drink this when we’re out. And to be honest, it sounds cooler when you order it. Johnnie Walker Black Rocks is a man’s drink. It just is. From Blade Runner to Mad Men, you’ll find men ordering it. If you order Johnnie Black Rocks, leaving out the “Walker,” then you’re trying too hard. Exemption: any trip to Vegas.
3. Auchentoshan Three Wood: This is a single malt, which as the name implies, is made with only one malt. There are too many single malts to count, so we picked our favorite. Single malts are grouped by the region they come from – Speyside, Highland, Lowland, Islay. As a general rule, if you like a single malt from a certain region, you’ll probably like others. We prefer Lowland malts, like Auchentoshan. The Three Wood is aged in 3 different casks, and we won’t give you tasting notes except to say it’s our favorite. Single malts are expensive and the longer they age, the more they cost, which can get crazy expensive. For an excellent single malt, the Three Wood is reasonably priced. Oh, and don’t let the name intimidate you. Like all things Scottish, it’s pronounced just like it looks. And to partially quote Elf, “Auchentoshan. Ohh, that’s fun to say.” Order it in a bar, if they have it, but keep it low key – nobody needs to think you’re trying to show off your knowledge or your income.
Sorry “man cave” poster, but unless you are a douche, refer to Johnnie Walker Black as “Black Label” when ordering at a bar–no “Johnnie Walker” identifier needed.
Hello Mannish Boy,
We may need to get a Bartender opinion on this one.
We’ll keep you posted.
Boyish Man, The only pretentious douche is you.